James Patterson – Movie Reviews – B

MOVIE REVIEWS – B’S


Babel movie poster

Babel

Because I’m such a fair critic, I saw this one a second time, and I’ll stick with my original opinion: This is the kind of movie that used to be made inexpensively and would find a small, very appreciative audience. Those were the days.

On DVD: Amazon
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Baby Driver movie poster

Baby Driver

The first half is—great! The second half—a bit bloody, and predictable. Ansel Elgort and John Hamm are really, really good. A-

On DVD: Amazon
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Baby Mama movie poster

Baby Mama

I love Tina Fey and 30 Rock and I expected to like this even more than I did. It definitely keeps you turning the pages, but fell a little flat for me. And it’s not because I don’t like chick flicks, actually, I do.

On DVD: Amazon
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Babylon AD movie poster

Babylon A.D.

I would love to know what went on during the production and post-production of this movie. My sense is that it got trashed by both the director and the press. But for most of the movie it’s not half bad. There’s a total collapse at the end, but a lot of time, effort and money went into this one, and I’d love to know what the hell happened.

On DVD: Amazon
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The back up Plan movie poster

The Back-Up Plan

If you have to choose between getting boiled in oil and this movie, pick the hot oil. To be fair, Jennifer Lopez was great…in Out of Sight.

On DVD: Amazon
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Bad Lieutenant movie poster

Bad Lieutenant

Pick of the Week

Is a dark, dark, darkly funny, violent, absurd cop-tale that about 15,000 people in America will want to see. I’m one of them. (Ironically, Stephen King is probably another.)

On DVD: Amazon
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Bad Moms movie poster

Bad Moms

A pretty funny idea that could have used better direction. Note to screenwriters: Most of you don’t belong behind the camera. B-

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Bad Santa 2 movie poster

Bad Santa 2

Not as bad (the good kind of bad) as the first in the series. C+

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Bad Times at the El Royale movie poster

Bad Times at the El Royale

I had medium-high expectations going into this one. Found it a bit logy. Didn’t care too much about any of the characters. Performances were all pretty good. C+


Bad Words movie poster

Bad Words

Pick of the Week

Jason Bateman is smart, really smart, and maybe a little too smart for movie audiences. The movie is good nasty fun. Bateman directs and stars.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Bank Job movie poster

The Bank Job

Pick of the Week

A good, twisty noir thriller in the time-honored British mould. I enjoyed it from start to finish.

On DVD: Amazon
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Barbershop The Next movie poster

Barbershop: The Next Cut

Pick of the Week

I believe this is an important film because it gets at the heart of violence in our cities, and it actually offers what I think is the only solution—which is that it needs to be dealt with neighborhood by neighborhood and locally. I applaud the people who put the film together. It is entertaining. It is funny as hell, but it is important. A

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Barney's Version movie poster

Barney’s Version

Some of my fellow patrons were raving as they left the theater, but I found this tragi-comedy uneven and unconvincing at times. Paul Giamatti is usually very good but I don’t get his Golden Globes nomination for Barney.

On DVD: Amazon
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Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice movie poster

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

I was OK with this costly extravaganza until they started blowing everything up. Scene after scene after scene. Talk about colossal bores. And in this case, a story that’s pretty much a downer as well. C-

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Battle of the Sexes movie poster

Battle of the Sexes

Good performances by Emma Stone and Steve Carell. Strong, but familiar story about Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs. No mistakes, but no great scenes either. B


Battleship movie poster

Battleship

Spoiler alert. Blow stuff up. Dialog to explain the inexplicable. Blow more stuff up. Dialog to make us care about the human race and those who will soon perish trying to defend it. Blow stuff up, blow stuff up, blow up very bad aliens. Confession: I haven’t actually seen it yet. How’d I do?

Review #2:
For years some knuckleheads have criticized my books without actually reading them. I’m afraid I’ve done the same thing with Battleship—although I was mostly making a joke. I’ve actually now seen the movie. I’ll stick with my first review—but I must add that I enjoyed Battleship more than The Avengers.

On DVD: Amazon
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Baywatch movie poster

Baywatch

Never saw the TV show, and not so happy I saw the movie. Though I remain a big Dwayne Johnson fan. C+

On DVD: Amazon
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Be Kind Rewind movie poster

Be Kind Rewind

This is one of those movies where you hear the idea and wonder if they can pull it off. In my opinion, they couldn’t. Love Mos Def. Love Jack Black. Lukewarm on this flick.

On DVD: Amazon
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Beastly movie poster

Beastly

The title says it all.

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Beautiful Creatures movie poster

Beautiful Creatures

Pick of the Week

Good performances, funny dialogue. Upscale teens will like it a lot. Has cult possibilities.

On DVD: Amazon
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Beatriz at Dinner movie poster

Beatriz at Dinner

Somewhat predictable, mostly watchable. Until it gets indie/high art/ silly. C+

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Becoming Jane movie poster

Becoming Jane

I am a huge Jane Austen fan, but, for me anyway, the story of her life doesn’t come close to living up to my expectations for the novels and their screen adaptations. The problem, I think, is that novelist’s real lives just aren’t that darn interesting!

On DVD: Amazon
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Before I Fall movie poster

Before I Fall

A YA version of Groundhog Day, dramatic rather than comedic. Well-shot with pretty good performances. B

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Before the Devil Knows You're Dead movie poster

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead

Great title (also a title of a novel by my co-writer Michael Ledwidge), but this one was a tad overwrought and depressing for me.

On DVD: Amazon
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Beginners movie poster

Beginners

Pick of the Week

Sometimes depressing as hell, sometimes funny as hell, always superbly acted.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Beguiled movie poster

The Beguiled

Once upon a time, a talented person named Sofia Coppola wrote and directed Lost in Translation. What happened to Sofia Coppola? Why is your name attached to this so-so movie? C+

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Beowulf movie poster

Beowulf

Pick of the Week

I like this better than the book! Wonderful visuals and camera angles, good story. But the faces in motion capture look like they’re made out of wax.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel movie poster

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Neat concept: the outsourcing of old people to India. Most will enjoy it. It’s about adapting to change, something we all need to embrace.

On DVD: Amazon
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Best of Enemies movie poster

Best of Enemies

Pick of the Week

Imagine a time when two very smart, articulate, intellectual men debated the merits of the political right and left—on national TV! That was Gore Vidal vs. Bill Buckley. A-

On DVD: Amazon
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Beverly Hills Chihuahua movie poster

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

I predicted this would be #1 at the box office and I’ll leave it at that.

On DVD: Amazon
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Beyond the Lights movie poster

Beyond the Lights

Pick of the Week

Well done on all fronts—directing, acting, melodrama. A-

On DVD: Amazon
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The Big Short movie poster

The Big Short

Pick of the Week

I’ve always felt that history should be told by comedians, or at least by writers with a good sense of humor. Here we have the crash of ’08–with a laugh track. A-

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The Big Sick movie poster

The Big Sick

A very well-made, honest and funny “small” movie guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and bring a tear or two. A-

On Demand: Amazon | iTunes
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The Big Year movie poster

The Big Year

A bomb at the box office, but it’s kind of diverting and sweet. Kudos to the director for keeping Jack Black and Owen Wilson nicely in check.

On DVD: Amazon
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Birdman movie poster

Birdman

Pick of the Week

This is as good as it gets in terms of illuminating the fuzzy line between actors and the roles they play. Some folks will hate it, but I liked it a lot. A-

On DVD: Amazon
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The Birth of a Nation movie poster

The Birth of a Nation

Emotional. A worthwhile history lesson. But also, for me, overcooked. B

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Blade Runner 2049 movie poster

Blade Runner 2049

This was a dazzling film – until Harrison Ford showed up in the last quarter. No fault of Ford’s, but the wheels got wobbly once he appeared. It also seemed – to me – that the writer or director wanted to make a statement that Blade Runner 2049 is serious art rather than just great popcorn. Hey, I was really digging the popcorn. B+


Black Mass  movie poster

Black Mass

A well done gangster flick about Boston’s Whitey Bulger. But not in the same class as The Departed. At least not for me. Once again, we find Hollywood glamorizing gangsters and vilifying the police. B+

On DVD: Amazon
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Black Panther movie poster

Black Panther

Marvel has given us plenty of entertaining films and now they’ve produced an important one. BLACK PANTHER is a fantasy film that showcases a culture based on dignity and fairness, led by heroes who are genuine role models. A


Black Swan movie poster

Black Swan

Pick of the Week

Natalie Portman is absolutely terrific. That’s all I’m going to say.

On DVD: Amazon
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Blackhat movie poster

Blackhat

Still wondering why Universal and Relativity chose to make this one over Maximum Ride… Something for Comcast’s accountants to ponder. C+

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Blended movie poster

Blended

I have the feeling that Adam Sandler & Drew Barrymore are very nice people and loving parents. They’re also talented and can get films green-lit. They should do much better than this.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Blind Side movie poster

The Blind Side

Terrific story, based on an equally terrific book by Michael Lewis. This is definitely an audience-pleaser. I was slightly put off by the TV-movie style of film making.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Bling Ring movie poster

The Bling Ring

Much, much scarier than World War Z. Brain-dead California teens, their brain-dead parents, and brain-dead celebs obsess over glitter and glam.

On DVD: Amazon
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Blockers movie poster

Blockers

Surprisingly (for me) funny, and even touching. A-


Blue is the Warmest Color movie poster

Blue Is the Warmest Color

Pick of the Week

Blue Is the Warmest Color has been written and talked about as soft porn, and perhaps it is, but it’s also one of the most honest young adult stories in years, even more so than The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

On DVD: Amazon
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Blue Jasmine movie poster

Blue Jasmine

Pick of the Week

Woody Allen’s over-the-top out-of-this-world Oscar-worthy tragicomedy. (That sentence ties my record for most hyphenated words ever.) N.b. I’ve actually witnessed train-crash nervous breakdowns like Cate Blanchett’s in Palm Beach.

On DVD: Amazon
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Blue Valentine movie poster

Blue Valentine

Pick of the Week

A well told, very sad story and one that many high school kids would benefit from seeing (though it’s fairly graphic). I missed Blue Valentine in 2010 but will now officially insert it into my favorites for that year.

On DVD: Amazon
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Bohemian Rhapsody movie poster

Bohemian Rhapsody

I’m a Queen fan and Rami Malek is terrific at playing Freddie Mercury. Unfortunately, the movie is very much painting by the numbers. B-

On Blu-ray: Amazon
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Body of Lies movie poster

Body of Lies

Pick of the Week

This is the prototypical Riddley Scott film. Great photography, snatches of terrific dialogue, mild incoherence, very good actors. It didn’t do great at the box office, but it’s entertaining for all you thriller fans.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Book of Eli movie poster

The Book of Eli

Pick of the Week

Is kind of like Mad Max for divinity students. But I like anything that Denzel Washington is in.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Book Thief movie poster

The Book Thief

Great book (one of my all-time favorites), terrific cast—but the movie is overwrought and overly sentimental. Not a disaster but definitely a disappointment.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Bounty Hunter movie poster

The Bounty Hunter

The boy-girl parts are fun. The thriller parts are clunky as hell. Gerard Butler can do better than this.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Bourne Ultimatum movie poster

The Bourne Ultimatum

Pick of the Week

For me, this was the best of the Bourne movies-and I’ve liked them all. Paul Greengrass is re-inventing the movie thriller, and it’s about time. I’d sure love to see him re-invigorate the Alex Cross series.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Box movie poster

The Box

The director of this flick has apparently taken one or two too many acid trips.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Boy in the Striped Pajamas movie poster

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

This is a sad, sad, sad, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful movie. The direction, the acting, the art direction, the storytelling is pitch perfect—but you have to be in the mood for a real punch in the stomach. I wasn’t, but this is still one of the best movies I’ve seen this year.

On DVD: Amazon
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Boy Erased movie poster

Boy Erased

Boy Erased had a strong storyline, but the screenplay seemed mechanical to me. Good performances, but the direction could have been better for a more powerful movie. B-

On Blu-ray: Amazon
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The Boy Next Door movie poster

The Boy Next Door

You probably won’t be able to believe your eyes—or your ears. D- (in spite of the fact that I kind of like Jennifer Lopez)

On DVD: Amazon
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Boyhood movie poster

Boyhood

Pick of the Week

I can’t remember a film that so honestly captures a life—at least part of a life. (But some folks will find the movie a bore.) A

On DVD: Amazon
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Brad’s Status

I usually like Ben Stiller, but for me this is pretty much unwatchable. D


The Brave One movie poster

The Brave One

I don’t quite understand why Jodie Foster chose to make this movie. As always, she does a wonderful job with the character. It’s definitely a depressing tale, though. And I’m not left with anything close to enlightenment.

On DVD: Amazon
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Breach movie poster

Breach

Pick of the Week

Slow good–like Heinz ketchup. Very very fine performances all around, but especially by Chris Cooper.

On DVD: Amazon
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Breaking In movie poster

Breaking In

The story is a little paint by the numbers, but it’s well done anyway. There are twists and surprises and good performances – including my old friend from ZOO, Billy Burke. B+


Breathe movie poster

Breathe

Well done, if slightly claustrophobic and soapy biopic about a man paralyzed by polio who courageously changed the way society in England dealt with the problem. Andrew Garfield and Claire Foy are terrific. B+


Brick Mansions movie poster

Brick Mansions

Ingenious fight scenes, otherwise an unfortunate last film for Paul Walker.

On DVD: Amazon
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Bride Wars

Cute but could have been cuter, smarter, funnier.

On DVD: Amazon
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Brideshead Revisited movie poster

Brideshead Revisited

I met my friend Ned in the theater lobby, told him what Sue and I were going to see, and he commented, “Snooze.”

But I like these adaptations of old English novels. They feature lush photography, clever dialog, fine acting. My friend Ned was right.

On DVD: Amazon
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Bridesmaids movie poster

Bridesmaids

This movie is seriously raunchy, yet also touching in parts. One thing that strikes me as curious is why some people think it’s a breakthrough when women are cast in traditional bad-boy male roles such as assassins and gross-out experts.

On DVD: Amazon
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Bridge of Spies movie poster

Bridge of Spies

Pick of the Week

Smart, tense, well-acted story covering the Francis Gary Powers/Rudolf Abel spy trade. A-

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Broken City movie poster

Broken City

Some clever dialog, and good performances by Mark Wahlberg and Russell Crowe, but a few too many holes in the story.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Bronze movie poster

The Bronze

This one doesn’t metal for me. No gold, no silver, no bronze. C

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Brooklyn's Finest movie poster

Brooklyn’s Finest

This is Training Day meets Crash. Antoine Fuqua is a talented director but, for my seven dollars, this was a dreary way to spend a Sat night. I prefer my morality tales on Sunday morning, in church.

On DVD: Amazon
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Brothers movie poster

Brothers

Pick of the Week

Absolutely terrific acting, and a good emotional story. My nitpick would be that it was a little mechanical at times. Also, these modern-day stories about the war aren’t for everybody.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Brothers Bloom movie poster

The Brothers Bloom

I loved this movie until it started it going on and on, and also started to take itself too seriously. For the first hour and a half it’s a clever, funny well-directed, and well-acted film about con jobs, but then, for me, it fell apart. The real con job here–and this happens all the time in Hollywood–was done on the film’s investors.

On DVD: Amazon
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Bruno movie poster

Brüno

Yikes! A second “worst movie of the year” candidate in the same week—although Brüno does have a very funny concept and a couple of good sequences.

On DVD: Amazon
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Buck movie poster

Buck

This documentary suggests that Buck was not only the brains behind the Horse Whisperer, but is also more interesting and “authentic” than Robert Redford.

On DVD: Amazon
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The Bucket List movie poster

The Bucket List

I was fearful going into theater because of the bad reviews. The Bucket List wasn’t as bad as I feared or as good as I would have hoped. A lot depends on whether you’re in the mood to watch a movie about two men dying of cancer.

On DVD: Amazon
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Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star movie poster

Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star

Even I won’t go to see this one.

On DVD: Amazon
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Bully movie poster

Bully

This docudrama got a lot of press coverage and I was expecting it to be even more powerful. In my opinion, Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life—pretty much ignored by the press—will do more good than this well-intentioned film


Bumblebee movie poster

Bumblebee

I guess this is more of a kids’ movie or an all-family movie, and I’m neither a kid nor a family – but I found it to be pleasant enough. Hailee Steinfeld did a very nice job. B

On Blu-ray: Amazon
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